Is it too much?

"Is it too much for Me to arrange an entire retreat just for you?"

My dear friend Gigi had a hard time retelling me these words, for God had just spoken to her in that still small voice. We were at the retreat I spoke of earlier and I had seen her walk away quickly during a time of prayer and worship. These words were the reason she walked away.

I got to thinking. Does God really use another person's life for the full benefit of a third? Can God really orchestrate an entire retreat just for Gigi? And the answer is YES! While at the same time orchestrating the entire retreat just for Lisa, and just for Meredith, and just for Beth, and just for Tracey. He's amazing that way.

The retreat wasn't the only thing He arranged just for me. I believe with all my heart, that God not only arranged the retreat, but also arranged an entire CD just for my ears. I'm not kidding. Every single song on the CD I had just 'discovered' by JJ Heller was written just for me. Let me explain:

Scenario #1: I had to do a skit in front of the entire retreat body (see picture)...I didn't want to. What would they think of me. What if I messed it up and it wasn't funny? What if...what if....

"you make my life worth living
you make me want to start giving
more and more away to you
it's not mine anyway" (Not Mine Anyway, JJ Heller)

He makes my life worth living. He makes me want to start giving, more and more away to Him. These acting skills are not mine anyway.

Scenario #2: The retreat had me face to face with a heart issue that I was afraid to face. I was not trusting God (more to come on that one), and I was afraid. If I had an inherent problem of trust, how could I trust to learn to trust more?! And just like a loving Father, He says to me...

"We could talk for hours
It doesn't matter
You don't hear a word I say
Cause you don't listen when I speak
So I'll sing to you instead

La la la la la I love you
Oooh I really do
If you ever paid attention
I think you would love me too

You say you want to know me
I get the feeling that you're telling me a lie
Cause every time I talk about emotion
You shake your pretty head and say goodbye

La la la la la I love you..." (You Would Love Me Too, JJ Heller)

Encouragement in one song. Reassurance in another. And 10 more messages of love on the same CD to boot! All from a loving Father who arranged an entire retreat and an entire CD just for me. And yet, I am afraid to trust Him. Dear Lord, help me remember who you ARE, and not who I am afraid you won't be.

Encouragement to Write

So I ran across someone today who asked me if I'm a writer. Hmmm. A writer, no. That would imply that I actually write something down. And maybe even that someone else reads it. But it got me thinking. And I thought that the very few of you who read this blog may just qualify as 'someone else to read' the 'something that I write down.'

In light of that, I thought I would start writing down the little insights God grants me in my quiet time. I am a forgetful person. (Hey - if each child took 1/2 of my brain at child birth, then I'm only left with 1/16 of what I started with. It's not my fault.)

Anyway, I don't want to forget the little things that He brings my way. So I'm going to start writing. About Him. And I hope somehow, that in being the 'someone who reads it' you will also be blessed by His Words.

2-10-10
This weekend I had the opportunity to attend a woman's retreat. We were encouraged to take off the masks that we continually wear and lay them down at His feet. What mask, you ask? How about that one that makes everyone else think that you've got it all together. Or how about the one that says, "I don't need any help. I've got it." Or the one that helps you see all the mistakes another person is making in their life, and blinds you to any of your own. My particular mask was prophetically described as a steel door. One that lets very few people in and that would only be removed by melting, or refining...hmmm.

So I laid this at His feet. Not knowing how to begin to remove it, I cried out, "Help!" And then just sat down to read His Word. My one year bible has me in Exodus. The children of Israel have just crossed the Red Sea and are singing a song of deliverance on the other side:

"With your unfailing love you lead the people you have redeemed.
In your might you guide them to your sacred home." (Ex 15:13)

"Lord," I prayed, "lead me; guide me. Let me hold your hand."

And God answered, "Child, you are IN both of my hands." Praise God!

p.s. That adorable little girl is my friend's daughter. I took the picture!!! So cool.

Fun Run

Saturday morning we all got up early to watch Sam run in Spencer's 3rd annual Fun Run. (Spencer is the only little boy with glasses in the group picture). He and Sam have a silent competition brewing. They won't tell each other that their only reason for running is to beat the other one, but they each have respectively confessed to their parents that they can't wait to see if they will 'win' the next race. This time Sam won.