I Will Sing

I Will Sing of the Mercies of the Lord Forever
I Will Sing
I Will Sing...

This could have been the banner over my head on Wednesday as I struggled with a decision to obey or not obey. Here is the background:

I am studying Experiencing God by Richard Blackaby in my Wednesday morning bible study. The study is all about knowing and doing the will of God and the unit for the week is 'Adjusting Your Life to God.'

I was also asked earlier that day to consider being a part of the small praise and worship team for this particular bible study group (please note the word, "small." Sometimes the 'team' is only 1 person strong!). And my immediate response to this was a whole lot of laughter and a very strong, "No Way!" I don't sing. Not that I don't love to sing. I just don't do it very well. Ask my husband. He has the unfortunate privilege of sitting next to me in church almost every Sunday.

So with this in mind, I headed to complete my study for the week and came across the following excerpt from the study:

Your whole life should be lived with the attitude of "Lord, whatever You may ask of me today or in the future, my answer is yes!"

Me: Really, Lord? You want me to sing? But I don't know how, and especially not as one of maybe 3 total people singing in front of others.

God: I told you we would be working on your idol of acceptance. Read on...

So I read on...

The adjustment requires moving from doing work for God according to your abilities, your gifts, your likes and dislikes, and your goals to being totally dependent on God, His working, and His resources. This is a major adjustment, and it is never easy to make.

Me: Oh how I am going to have to be totally dependent on You for this one

I read on...

Do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am Your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10)

Me: Lord, You are going to have to do a whole lot more than strengthen me and help me. I may just run away.

God: "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint" (Isaiah 40:31)

Me: Ok. Ok. So I won't faint from fear, but what is the purpose of all of this? You told me when Jeff left that You know the plans you have for me (Jer 29:11). Plans to give me a purpose and a hope. Plans to prosper me and not to harm me.

God: To bring Me glory. Read some more...

The Christ who lived His life in complete obedience is fully present in you to enable you to know and do His will...He will never fail to lead your life into the middle of His purpose and enable you to do it.

Me: That's the ONLY way this will work. Are you going to replace my voice with yours?

God: I am going to give you the desire to do my will. (For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose - Phil 2:13).

After much laughter and a realization that I could run, but I couldn't hide, I finally said:

"OK. I will sing of the Mercies of the Lord forever. And I won't faint...right?"